Comment Wall - Italian Fairy Tales
https://sites.google.com/view/italian-fairytales/home |
| Italian Vineyard Source: Wine Folly |
Introduction
Greetings! My name is Elizabeth DiSalvatore. I am a senior at the University of Oklahoma studying Medical Sciences, International Studies, and Health Social Sciences. I enjoy the health field, as well as the global community and would love to find a field where I can incorporate both! My ultimate goal is to go to Physician's Assistant school and eventually lead medical and spiritual mission trips around the globe. My wanderlust is encompassing - I have studied abroad 3 times! After my freshman year I studied abroad in Italy with President Community Scholars. We completed a community service project where we painted murals along the walls of the train station in Arezzo, Italy to make the space more inviting. Part of our Community Service Project Source: My picture Afterwards, we traveled around northern Italy learning and blogging about art history and the impact it has made on the culture. After my sophomore year I studied abroad in Sevilla, Spain for 3 months. I live
Hi Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI really like the look and feel of your project site. I’m Italian too, and have never read any Italian fairy tales before, so I’m interested to hear more as you publish stories. I think it is cool that you included the definition of a fairy tale at the beginning of your intro, that was a nice touch. Your introduction is a little on the short side, but I felt like you gave me the information I need to read your stories by telling a little about your connection to them, where the originals came from, and the types of things you’ll be writing about. I found your final paragraph to be very engaging. One suggestion I have is that you may want to put the words that you’ve placed an emphasis on by typing them in all caps in italics instead. I’m looking forward to the stories, keep up the good work!
Hi Elizabeth! First off, I really like your banner image. It caught my attention as soon as I clicked on the link to your storybook and was captivating. I also like your cute little description of what your storybook was going to be about. I definitely do love fairy tales! All I liked to read when I was younger were fairy tales and I am still a kid at heart so my love for fairy tales has not faded. I like your persuasive tone that you use in your introduction to capture the audience. I also like how you put certain ones in all caps to emphasize your point. I also like how you put certain ones in all caps to emphasize your point. You gave such a great and detailed description of what all your storybook entails. I am so excited to read your storybook and compare and contrast Italian fairy tales to others that I have read.
ReplyDeleteHello, Elizabeth! Your storybook website is awesome, and I love your tie to your topic! I absolutely love the images that you chose for both the cover page and introduction. I feel as though they do a perfect job of creating a mental picture of where the Italian Fairy-Tales that you include in the storybook will take place at. Your introduction is both interesting and informative, and made me really look forward to reading these Italian fairy tales that you described. I honestly had no clue that the Pentamerone was such an inspiration to the modern or more common fairy tales that we know and love like Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel. I am not sure what the timeline is for adding a story to your storybook, but I really look forward to when you start adding and editing your stories. Great work, Elizabeth! I can not wait to read your perspective on such classic stories.
ReplyDeleteHey there Elizabeth. I was lucky enough to stumble across your story book portfolio page as my second feedback session. I was very impressed with your home page as well as the set up of your page. It looks amazing with the breathtaking photo. I think that the homepage gives the reader a good overview of what they are about to read and let them decide for themselves if this is a topic they want to pursue. I thought the introduction was interesting take. Starting it out with the definition and statement about what exactly a fairy tail is. For most readers this may be helpful but for this class most of us probably know what a fairy tail is. Moving on I thought you cave a good idea about what your story book was going to hold for the reader. Great job and I'm ready to see what else is to come.
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth, it's great that your learning more about your culture from your project! I'm doing the same with mine! To start off, I really like the beginning of your introduction where you define "fairy tales". I think it gives it an official vibe. Is that a definition you made up or is that the actual definition? The rest of your introduction is fantastic too! It really drew me in, and I can't wait to read more! And I love your closing sentence: "Join me in the world of 'Once Upon A Time'". I certainly wasn't expecting an introduction actually about fairy tales, but it was great! Nice job! Will you be using characters that you are familiar with or different ones? The words you use throughout your introduction are captivating and descriptive, full of imagery. I'm looking forward to seeing how the storybook turns out! It seems like you have a lot of exciting things planned for us!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth! I love the set up of your Storybook! The pictures you used are gorgeous and the Introduction page was set up so well. It has a very tranquil vibe and makes me wish I was back in Italy. It was so creative to start your intro with the definition of fairy tale and the way you wrote your introduction was very refreshing. It seems that most of us are writing as someone who is actually part of the story but your intro was a nice change of pace. I liked being reminded about all the things I love about fairy tales and it made me feel like a little kid again. I've never heard of the Pentamerone so I'm excited to read some of the stories from it, especially the ones that influenced other fairy tales. I think you'll do a great job with this and can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI love the pictures that you have chosen to illustrate your storybook. They are beautiful and really set up your theme of fairy tales from Italy, which is an excellent choice of topic. I love fairy tales, but I don't know that I've really ever read any Italian ones. I'm interested to see what kind of themes they have and what they have in common with the fairy tales from other parts of Europe. Your introduction did an excellent job of setting up what you wanted your storybook to be about, and where your intended to focus. It made me super excited to see what you would write. Your first story was great and I think that you accomplished your goal of making it a bit more lighthearted and sweet. Those old school stories were really dark! However, you made a smart choice in not removing all of the dark aspects of the tale. The father who wanted to marry his daughter is super creepy, but rather than letting it become too disturbing, you used it to build sympathy for your heroine and give her some backbone. Excellent job!
Hi Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteLet me start out this post by saying you have done a wonderful job of laying out your website. The images you have chosen so far are simplistic but also beautiful. They do a good job of providing the reader with some guidance to what the landscape looks like so that they can imagine the characters interacting with this landscape. It is interesting that you chose Italian fairy tales. Why did you choose to focus on Italy specifically? The way you chose to open the story was attention-grabbing. I wonder why the Queen would care if her husband married a woman of less beauty. Is there a reason you chose not to name the princess? I feel like naming characters allows a certain sense of intimacy with the reader. I truly found this story enjoyable. You have done a wonderful job of retelling this story. Well done.
ReplyDeleteHey Elizabeth! I like the way you start off with the definition of fairy tales. In your intro, you talk about magical beasts and how we all used to believe in the impossible. I vividly remember believing mermaids were real well into elementary school. When my mom told me they weren’t, I was devastated. Speaking of devastation, I feel for your king! If I died, I would want my future husband to remarry. Why should he live in loneliness? And who cares if she’s more or less beautiful! He needs a kind woman, not a beautiful one.
I take it all back. What a sick man! I loved this story. I think it would make a great movie. There were a few typos, but overall amazing job! It flowed well and there was plenty of backstory. I would love some more detail on the appearance of the princess. I know she has green eyes and is beautiful, but what else? Does she have clean porcelain skin or a perfectly freckled tan face? Is her hair red as an apple or the color of honey? And what about this prince? Thank you so much for sharing! I look forward to seeing what else you come up with!
Casey,
DeleteThank you for your feedback! I have split my story into part 1 and part 2 so that I can add more description! I love your ideas on that, thank you for taking the time to read my stories and give me usable feedback!
Elizabeth, I just read your project Introduction and first two stories. In the introduction, I would eliminate many of the exclamation marks that you have, as they are a bit distracting and seem like you are trying to force excitement on your readers. I thought the addition of the definition of fairy tales was great, though. In the first story, I would change "whom's eyes" to "whose eyes." You evoke a lot of emotion in describing the King's mourning, and this is nice in that it creates an emotional connection to the reader. I would explain what a vintner is, as I had never heard the word before seeing is used in the titles of your stories. Overall, the writing is very solid and flows nicely. Although you do have some nice pictures behind the story titles, the reader cannot view them easily, so they do not aid much in picturing the scenes that you are creating. I would add some more pictures within the body of text. Good job on this!
ReplyDeleteWow, this font is a little wacky haha. Hey Elizabeth! First, I LOVE the look of your blog! I really like it, it is nice and bright and the pictures you put on there are really cool looking! I was surprised that a fairy tale was required to have a happy ending, who would have thought! I love the energy you are putting out in your introduction. I think you did a great job! As for your story, definitely keep that "fairy tale" feeling as much as you can. There is a certain feel to stories like that which I feel is going to be critical to your storybook. And dang, that king was WACKO. Glad you are keeping the feel of fairy tales alive. Bringing outrageous stuff like that incest stuff was a great way to catch my attention while reading your story. I am excited to see what all this storybook brings us! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth! I enjoyed reading your first two stories — I got nervous reading about how beautiful the princess is and how she looked like her mother, because I was worried the King would try to marry her, and then that's exactly what happened! Good foreshadowing, for sure. I really enjoy the photos and layout of your website — they really add to the stories and set the scene well. I haven't read the source material for your story, but I think the idea of turning the princess into a vintner rather than a she-bear makes the story much more lighthearted, like you mentioned wanting to do in your introduction! I love that you've decided to focus on the "fairy tales" we remember from childhood — ones with magical creatures and happy endings. I look forward to how you continue the tale of the vintner! Keep up the good work, and good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteYour project looks great so far and I like that you chose a topic that is personal to you. You introduction does a great job of telling the reader what to expect from your stories.
In the first part of your story "The Vintner," there are a few typos in your first paragraph, specifically your fourth sentence about the queen being on the bridge of death, and your last sentence where the queen is talking about a woman "more beautiful than me." Aside from that, your story looks awesome. You did a great job telling the story, and I can't help but feel for the King, weird as he may be, who has lost his wife and daughter (although he pushed her away more than lost her).
The only other suggestion that I would make is to maybe add a picture or two to your stories. I honestly think the stories are fine without them, but a really good picture, such as the one on your main page, could add even more to your stories. At the same I feel that a picture that isn't as fitting would probably take away from your stories, so keeping it as is might be the best option if you can't find the perfect picture.
Either way, great job!
Hey Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your storybook! Your layout looks awesome, and the fact that you chose Italian Fairy Tales is really cool. I thought your introduction did a really great job of explaining your source material for those like me who have never read Italian fairy tales. It also really set your future stories up very nicely. I enjoyed both parts of the Vintner. I thought the plotline of the father wanting to marry his own daughter was really creepy but it doesn't surprise me that the original story had it. I liked changing her into a Vintner instead of a she-bear especially once I read part 2. I don't think having the prince fall in love with a bear would have worked as well for the modern reader! You did a great job of creating likable characters and a really engaging story. I'm so glad that I found your project. Great job and I hope to read more!
-Elizabeth
Hey Elizabeth! I didn't know you were in this class, what a small world! I really loved your storybook. I have to say I am so glad that she didn't have to marry her dad. Whenever I was reading that part I just kept thinking "Surely this isn't going to happen right?" I also think that's crazy that she was able to hold the grape in her mouth that long, very impressive. My biggest question is, if the princess was still so beautiful, even when she was in her other state, why didn't the king want to marry her? I would hope he would be desperate to find anyone else to marry other than his daughter. I'm curious to see how you will move forward with the storybook, if it will be a continuation of the same story. I think that if you change stories, you should somehow connect the two stories. For instance, maybe it is the princess' children or it happens in a nearby kingdom.
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth! Wonderful job on your Storybook so far! Your introduction did a great job of convincing me to continue reading. I like that you explained why you are so fond of fairy tales and why the specific book that your retellings come from is so important. I've never heard of the first fairy tale you retold, and it's a fascinating story! I like the changes you made, because turning the princess into a vintner rather than a bear made the second part of the story much simpler. That way, you were able to focus on the love story between the prince and princess and really flesh out their characters (which you did very well). I enjoyed all the detail you gave us about the looks, personalities, and thoughts of the main characters. I don't think your story really needs this, but if you are still in the process of revising and are looking for ideas, maybe you could include more information about why the prince fell in love with the princess in the first place. What about their conversations was it? Why was she so important to him that he couldn't stay away even when ordered to by his mother? I really enjoyed reading this story, and I'm excited to see what else you write!
ReplyDeleteHello again, Elizabeth! So this is my second time looking through your storybook and I am so excited to see the stories you have added. As I said before, you have really created a beautiful website and all of your images fit perfectly with your theme. In fact, for the second part of your story The Vintner your banner image is absolutely gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, your introduction and both of your stories are very well written! As I was reading through your first part of the story The Vintner a few questions came to mind. First, how did the kingdom react to the King wanting to marry his own daughter? Incest is clearly a very twisted and controversial topic so I wondered how the King's people would react to this news? Maybe they were all disgusted but they couldn't do anything about it since the King had so much power. Also, what was the King's reaction to his daughter going missing. Did he search for her throughout the kingdom?
Great work!
Hi Elizabeth! I like how you incorporated your own heritage into your theme! I enjoyed both the stores. My favorite part about “The Vintner Part 1” was how emotional it was—I was not expecting this. It mad me sad when I read that the mother was about pass away. I think you did a great job representing all the emotions in an unexpected way. My favorite part about “The Vintner Part 2” was the vivid details! I could picture the scenes taking place as I read. I did wonder more about the love story between the father and mother. You could add in a flashback to make your story even more dynamic. Other than that, I thought you did a wonderful job, and this was one of my favorite projects! I look forward to reading more of your stories as you continue to blog. I think you have a real talent!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth! I really loved your stories. First off I love how you incorporated Arezzo into the storyline. I studied abroad there with OU. Your story was so emotional and it made me sad that the mother passed away. I expected the father to go out and look for a new wife that would be able to give him a son that would not be his daughter. I wish you had gone into more detail about the first story instead of going and adding 2 more separate stories. Awesome job overall though!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI read your first story a while back, and I really enjoyed it, so I wanted to come back and see what you've added. You've expanded your storybook quite a lot! I like the part 2 to the vintner's story. It kept the overall sweet and lighthearted tone of the first part, while still incorporating the sadder elements of the tale. Marrying the heroine to the prince was the simple and obvious answer to solving the girl's problems with her creepy father. I also enjoyed your first story about Felicia. I'm looking forward to seeing how it ends. There are so many directions that I can see you going, so I'm curious which you'll choose!
Hey there, Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI have not come across your storybook before, so I was really excited to check out what you have been working on all semester! I was really impressed with your layout and pictures that you used for the home page. I thought that the introduction was of very great quality and provided a lot great information without being boring. I decided to read your most recent story because I wanted to give your more relevant and recent feedback. I like how you started the story with a nice bit of background information. It provides the reader with a sense of understanding and it makes it a lot easier to become engaged in the story. I immediately noticed the conflict that had arisen within the king. He desperately wanted more children to come from his lineage, but he did not understand the true feelings of his daughter. I think it is a bit sad, but it definitely adds another element to the story. I am curious as to what will happen between Felicia and Damiano. I wonder if he will marry Felicia? Or will he try to put an end to the king's lineage? I think there are definitely a lot of options for you on this one. I am looking forward to reading what happens next!
Hi Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI originally saw your Storybook at the beginning of the semester when all you had was an Introduction, which I really enjoyed, so I'm glad that I got to come back and read your stories. The Vintner was a great read! I loved all the changes you made, especially having the princess stay a human. I don't know why so many of these stories have weird stuff like that with humans and animals falling in love. My only critique is that the ending seemed a little rushed. I think that's because the rest of the story had so much detail and really took its time causing the climax to be at the end with no room for a real resolution, which is not your fault at all. Part 1 of Felicia was also really good! Will Felicia and her father discover that they are being tricked? I hope I get to read Part 2 and find out!
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI hadn’t read your Storybook until now, but my roommate is obsessed with Italy and all that surrounds/comes with it, so I decided to choose yours to read in honor of her. I’ll have to share your Storybook with her soon, I’m sure she’d love it! I think that making the stories your own was a great way to play off the original tales, and make them more relatable to your audience. For example, keeping a character human instead of having them turn into an animal allows the reader to connect with the story more because they do not have to try to relate to humans turning into different creatures. While a lot of those type of stories are like that because of the culture they come from, they don’t pack as much of a punch as one would if the reader could connect well with a human being. Try not to rush to storylines, as it leaves the reader unsatisfied and makes it harder for them to want to continue reading.
Keep up the good work and good luck on finals!
Hey Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that I got to come back and finish reading through your storybook. I loved reading Parts 1 and 2 of Felicia just as much as I previously enjoyed Parts one and two of the Vintner. I thought you did a great job a using a short story to create a complex protagonist who was able to wrestle with her mistakes. I also thought you did a great job, as someone who has never read the original story, of keeping the reader on his or her toes throughout your story. I did notice on grammar error in part 2 that you can fix. The sentence "Damiano, went off to Firenze celebrate his victory." doesn't need a comma after Damiano! Additionally, I did not see an author's note so your pages may be malfunctioning! Otherwise great job, and I really enjoyed really through all of your stories!
-Elizabeth
Hey Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI'm from the Indian Epics class, and I have to say, I really love the idea behind your project! I really reading about other cultures' fairy tales, and also love Italy, so the confluence of both was a sort of dream-come-true! Your site was really aesthetically pleasing, too - the font was stylish, the background was simple, and the pictures added good meaning to the stories. I think the way you organized your story was useful, too. It helped develop the characters well, and the procession of events was really smooth. The way you describe Alessandra's varying emotions in The Vintner stories and Felicia's actions in the Felicia stories was very descriptive and good for the reader. The dialogue really helped the reader feel connected, as well. The only suggestion I have is to perhaps include more setting imagery so that the reader can visualize what the story's settings look like at any given point. Overall, I thought you did a fantastic job with your writing!
Hi Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that I got to come back one last time to read your last story. I could not end the class without reading the finale to your wonderful work. Felicia part three was a work of pure genius. You tied up the story in a great way. Also I find your hero's name fascinating. I wonder what the inspiration was to have the ultimate victor of your story be named Salvatore? Additionally, I think that you are a masterful writer. For example, I am almost positive that no one else, in either class has used the word “bamboozled” in any context, and you managed to not make its use sound silly. Overall, your project is one of my favorites from either class. Your website looks spectacular and the images you chose really bring your whole project together. I am so glad I got to read through your stories! Have a great break!
-Elizabeth